So Snooki has her own youtube channel... God I love this bitch.
Check out the white plastic hair clip and the jug of wine.
Snooki is the new black
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I know that I haven’t been blogging a lot lately but like most of America I have been too caught up with the cast of the Jersey Shore to get anything else done. Especially the world’s hottest guidette Snooki!
Look at this girl. She’s 4’10”, she’s covered in all kinds of bronzer that may or may not be made for human use, she doesn’t own a dress that covers her vagina, she loves her animal print and never leaves home without a bumpit. Amazing!
And don’t even get me started on bitch's dancing. I will return to blogging when the Jersey Shore is inevitably cancelled because everyone gets kicked off for violence.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I know that I rarely update my blog, but that’s because I really don’t have that much to say. I mean, who cares about the inner musings of a barely employed Angeleno whose main interest are gay club anthems and artisan cheeses? But some people have a gift and they should update their blogs more often…
For example, my most favoritest blog ever Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid? Every morning I wake up and flip open my computer and take care of the really important task of feeding my fish on my Facebook Happy Aquarium (more on that later), then I go to my bookmarks which range from NYTimes to Text From Last Night.
But the best is Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid? There is really nothing better than photos of babies with shotguns, craigslist sex ads from expected mothers and anyone goth with a child. This asshole hasn’t updated since November 12th! I am pissed.
Please go fall in love with this website if you haven’t already, then help me protest.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Is it bad that I don’t really hate Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife with nine or more virtually identical club sluts? It's none of my business, it's just a distraction for my general boredom.
Let’s face it; Tiger Woods is the new John Gosselin (minus the Ed Hardy and the beer gut). You can’t get away from this story, no matter how much you want to. Everyone from Elizabeth Hasselback to Conan O’Brien seems to have not only an opinion but also a theory on this shit. In Los Angeles, it’s the lead item on the local news no matter how many bodies were discovered buried in the Inland Empire that day.
I think it’s all a complex government plot to distract all of us bored unemployed people as we sit at home reading shit like Perez Hilton and Dlisted all day until they come knock on our door and take us to Afghanistan. OK, well I really don’t think that but it would make a great conspiracy movie.
Now, let’s all go back to googling “Ambien sex” and get on with our lives.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
So I was at Albertons (I know I am supposed to be boycotting them because they hate gays but I am lazy and they are close), stocking up on Gatorade, soup, People magazine and other sick people stuff and I see this cover. The guy behind me in line (deli meat and cheddar rolls) must of thought that I was going to vomit based on the look on my face because he recoiled at the sight of me. I couldn’t help it, I was looking at Amanda Bynes.
Now don’t get me wrong, I think that Amanda Bynes is one of the finest actresses of our time. Her performances in such timeless films as She’s the Man, What A Girl Wants and Sydney White and the Seven Dwarves are perfection. But this cover is a hot tranny mess. Her face looks like one of those “What would their kids look like?” mash-ups of two different celebrity faces. Or maybe it looks more like a tranny/Barbie Ms. Potato head where not all of the right pieces were stuck in. This screen shot doesn't do it justice, try to look up close the next time you go on a beer run.
Oh Amanda, I love you, but insist on using your own retoucher.