Too Ugly To Blog

Did you miss me?  I know that I have been absent from the blogosphere for a few days, but I have a really good reason; I was too ugly to blog.  Let me tell you my little story…

So I have an obsession with having shiny jet black hair. I know, so typical and expected for the founder of the new black blog.   Despite the fact that I have always had a mild allergy to hair dye, I have been keeping up with my locks.  Usually I get a little rash at the base of my scalp, and it’s awful and embarrassing and all of the gay dudes at my gym totally judge me when I rock a pony and whatnot.  Where was I?

So apparently these allergies are progressive and this time my head and neck swelled up to twice their normal size and I ended up looking like this bitch and losing my ability to breathe normally.  So I had to take steroids and benedryl and something else that I stopped taking because it said “do not mix with alcohol” and “take with food’ on the label, two things that stifle my lifestyle.  So the moral of the story is I have been hiding in my house and not blogging and that hair dye is dangerous and shit.

All I know is that when I go, I don’t want it to be from a box of Nice and Easy. 

Jet black hair is no longer the new black.