Hope for Hotness

OK, so I know the point of the Hope for Haiti telethon was to raise money and awareness for Haiti and for Wyclef Jean to quote himself like he was the bible. And because I did my part and texted GIVE to 50555, I think that it's time to raise awareness about another terrible tragedy. Leonardo DiCaprio is not hot anymore.

Now, I have first loved Leo since "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," when he was totally robbed of an Oscar because he went "full retard," or maybe even before that when he was the hot homeless kid on "Growing Pains." Every girl in America wanted to be that fat chick floating next to him on a piece of wood in the icy ocean, the Juliet to his Romeo or join his murderous cult on "The Beach."  But a terrible event has taken place, and Leonardo DiCaprio is no longer hot.  Please refer to Exhibit A below from last night celebrity clusterfuck:

I mean, him and Jack have have the same amount of wrinkles.  His whole face just seems bloated and his mustache is beyond pervy.  He just makes me think of beer guts and sweat that smells like vodka. Sick.

Leonardo DiCaprio is not the new black.