Saturday, July 10, 2010

Los Angeles in 2005 called, and it wants its rolling blackouts back

Hello internet world! Miss me? I woke up this morning after a bit too much jungle juice and flip cup last night, and I knew it was time to come back to Blogland, USA. I haven't been this hungover since my bithday (March 26th, if you want to buy me a present), and I magically felt snarky again. So in honor of my hangover inspiration, here are three tell-tale signs that the party you were at last night was totally the new black.
1. Your lights are still on. Not just your bedside light, I mean ALL of the lights. Bathroom, kitchen, and if you have other rooms in your apartment/house, then those are on too. I don't know what those other rooms may be, considering my crappy studio apartment has exactly 5 light bulbs in the whole place, but you get the idea.
2. You're naked, regardless of whether of not you had bed company. And by naked, I mean maybe your underwear and the stamp from the bar you were at last night. Or you wake up in all of your clothes. And by clothes, I mean your theme party costume. Preferably with something on your face (glitter, fake eyelashes, something you double-sided taped to your shirt, etc.).
3. Your TV is on, blaring the menu page of whatever DVD you put on to "fall asleep to" last night that you watched for exactly .8 seconds before passing out. And if you wear glasses, you're still wearing those too.
Blacking out is the new black.