Is it bad that I don’t really hate Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife with nine or more virtually identical club sluts? It's none of my business, it's just a distraction for my general boredom.
Let’s face it; Tiger Woods is the new John Gosselin (minus the Ed Hardy and the beer gut). You can’t get away from this story, no matter how much you want to. Everyone from Elizabeth Hasselback to Conan O’Brien seems to have not only an opinion but also a theory on this shit. In Los Angeles, it’s the lead item on the local news no matter how many bodies were discovered buried in the Inland Empire that day.
I think it’s all a complex government plot to distract all of us bored unemployed people as we sit at home reading shit like Perez Hilton and Dlisted all day until they come knock on our door and take us to Afghanistan. OK, well I really don’t think that but it would make a great conspiracy movie.
Now, let’s all go back to googling “Ambien sex” and get on with our lives.