Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Blah blah blah

Was recently invited to a special appearance by Kesha. Unfortunately, my crappy cell phone static resulted in me hearing "Keyshia", as in the great Keyshia Cole... I was stoked.

Well imagine my surprise when I walked in expecting a radiant songstress but was greeted by a sloppy white chick with half-inch roots, a visible beer ponch, and most assuredly some type of Herpes. (Whether it was 1 or 2, I could not say.) It was like being at a fantasy ex-girlfriend convention....

Abnoxious as she was, I was impressed by Kesha (who spells her name Ke$ha - wow) on two fronts:

1) anyone who is that S-faced but can still lip sync is Ok in my books, and

2) her song Blah Blah Blah really hit home for me.... on that superficial but still lasting level... the kind of level that one hopes can be shift+deleted with just one dose of antibiotics after a questionable rendezvous with someone from oh, say, an annexed country....

But I digress...

When it comes to relationships - or at least the start of them - there seems to be a lot of blah blah blah and no action. I can name a slew of gal pals who have spent many an earnest night getting jimmy leg in the back of a cigarette-stained chevette - twisting themselves into positions that would make the Cirque de Soleil crew blush - all the while trying to fein interest as Bacardi-infused whispers of white picket fences and meeting the parents fill our ears.

While its usually the fairer sex that gets labeled as Chatty Cathy's... I think it's fair to say that when it comes down to it, ya'll men need to put out or get out. (Can I get an Amen from the Canadians on this one? See my blog on staying warm... talking won't cut it, mister, we need some serious eskimo style friction please.)

You want to have a relationship? Ok. Just wanna bump uglies? Fine. Have a wife? That's cool, I have a boyfriend. You like to hook up only when drunk? Ditto. Wanna Chris Brown my ass? Can't, I have a real date tomorrow, but I will touch your man bits for another martini....

See how easy that was?

Fellas, just tell us what you want... most of us will dig it.... but we're not mind readers. In closing, I'd like to mention that it's Hug-A-Ginger-Day. (Remember... Hug-A-Ginger, not Talk-To-A-Ginger-About-Your-Feelings.) I'd also like to mention that Ke$ha and Talking are not the new black.


This blog was dedicated to a very special girl: I hope I'm the rainbow to your lucky charms : ) (that's not as perverted as it sounds, it's wayyyyyy worse.)


  1. Well thank you very kindly! Now put out or get out ; )