Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Bait-And-Switch

Dear Men (and sneaky Women),

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you very little for a duplicitous trick of yours I just learned about... it's called the "bait-and-switch" and it goes a little something like this....

Tell a girl (or guy) you are hooking up with that you're absolutely "Ok" with the fact that she (or he) doesn't want a relationship. It's fine. It's fine! It's totally fine! No problem at all with restricting your encounters to lovely dinners, fine conversation, and raucous bumping of the uglies... nothing more needed, nothing more expected.

And then.....


And then, out of nowhere they start dropping "I miss you", "You're fabulous", and "I wish you were my girlfriend/boyfriend". Talk about a big old FML....

Now, this puts us in a sticky predicament.... it causes self-doubt - which we don't like - and it causes us to question ourselves... were we unclear when we explicitly said, "I don't want a relationship right now," or "What we have is perfect, let's not change a thing." ???

And when we responded to your lovey-dovey-eyed insinuation, "Well, I'm not seeing anyone else..." with a stare more blank than my ex-boyfriend's face when asked to explain why he de-friended me on Facebook whilst we were still dating, what did you think we meant by that? C'mon people, this isn't Canada, you don't need to couple up just because it's cold outside...

Let's just say it's more awkward than the first time I checked out my hot first cousin by accident... Ladies! Gentlemen! I beg of you... Please don't do the bait-and-switch. It's so not the new black.


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