Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Canadian Hookups are The New Black

Thank you for that lovely introduction LT…

Yes, I’m Canadian and yes I’m sorry aboot it. Yes, me and my fellow sap sucking Igloo dwellers live above the world’s greatest party and we know it. And yes, we apologize way too much and we’re beyond freezing most of the year.

But what you may not know is that our climatically challenged conundrum, coupled with our deliciously potent beer, manifests itself in the following fast-forward mating equation: polite people + two beers = rosy cheeks in betwixt whoever’s thighs are warmest.

Hey, I said we’re freezing, not frigid.

I’ve always found it interesting to be a Canadian outside of Canada. Most Europeans love us, Asians think we’re huge, and Australians are basically what we would look like if we were British, broke the law a couple hundred years ago, and took rugby way too seriously.

But America, oh how I love America. When revealing my citizenship to a potential bedmate in the U.S. I’m always greeted with the same creepily approving nod (as though I’m about to be colonized – I was actually once asked if “I’m into that” ???).

I’m not sure why, but for some reason Canadians are like that rapaciously slutty girl who’s just so darn adorable that you forgive her anyway. Any American who’s traveled abroad or sampled the syrup will attest to this… Ya’ll love to engage in a little free trade between two friendly nations…

And if you don’t, give the Eager Beavers a chance. We’re cuddly, we’re polite, and although we may smell like maple syrup, we’ll literally do anything to warm up.

And that’s why… Canadian hookups are the new black.



  1. So do we just go to a Hockey game to find one of you people?

  2. Exactly... we like to linger around ponds and other unsavory outdoor areas.