How to Hide Your Drinking Problem 101

Now, if I was to wake up on a random morning and have a vodka soda with my cheerios, you would probably think that I was a dirty drunk.  But move that meal a couple of hours later and call it "brunch" and it's socially acceptable to drink bloody marys and mimosas.


This is the thing I don't get about brunch;  why is it OK to have a bloody mary but not a rum and coke or perhaps a tumbler of Jack Daniels?  What exactly is it about spicy V8 that makes it socially acceptable to drink vodka in the morning? Does anyone even drink that shit without vodka in it?  The mimosa I kinda understand because it has a "lower alcohol content."  But in those tiny champagne glasses? Bitch please! No one had just one mimosa.


Oh well, who the fuck cares?  It's 2:00 p.m. and I've already had three alcoholic beverages today. 


Brunch is the new black.