I’ve been noticing a suspicious trend in marriages recently: chicks marrying totally gay dudes. I’m not talking about your run of the mill gay boyfriends who are out of the closet and go to places like “super pop stars” and “cherry pop” with absolutely no shame. I’m talking about that dude that you work with that has been to see Wicked fifteen times and says things like “super-high wedges are going to huge next season.” We all know this guy. When you ask him if he’s dating anyone just to see if he’s realized that he’s gay yet, he makes some vague statement about an ex-girlfriend who is in Ohio or college or some other far away place.
This guy is a good friend; he is great for happy hours, if you feel like doing something cultural like going a museum or movie with subtitles, or if your date cancels at the last minute he is always available for dinner. He always tells you that you look great when you see him, usually with a specific compliment such as “loving what you did with your hair!” You would probably tell him that you wished he was straight if he ever came out the closet, but not really mean it because you’re not attracted to him at all.
I keep hearing about girls my age marrying some variation of this dude! A friend commented last night that “marrying your shopping buddy might be the right move these days.” She might be on to something. I mean, aside from the whole sex thing you’re not going to find a more devoted adoring partner than your “metrosexual” best friend.
Marrying a gay dude is the new black.